Well today it hit me. In 20 days I will be the mother of a 4 year old!!Ok so I have known all year that this time would come, but I just didn't expect it to happen so soon

It hit me when I was walking home from nursery. With brat safely installed I was thinking of what I should do with my 2 and a half free hours. Then it happened! I just suddenly thught to myself oh well we'll have the whole day this time in September, which led me to remember Kian's birthday.

We planned this year's holiday around his birthday so we could get away without having a party(I know it sounds really cruel but really I just couldn't be bothered with all those kids). So in 1 week and 5 days, yes I am still counting, when we jet off to Ibiza my suitcases will be filled not with clothes, but cards and small presents from family and friends to take with us.

I mean, I'm only 24 and already I am going to be mother to a 4 year old an aunt to at least 30 nieces and nephews(I've actually lost count and can't be botherd goin through them all) and a great aunt! Oh yes my wonderful niece decided to give birth in February (just two months after her own mum), to make me a great aunt! I mean I am suddenly feeling old. All my great aunts are like really old, pensioners even, and yet here's me just reaching my mid-twenties and I already have a great niece and yet another one on the way!

All my friends think it's funny, and of course they tell me I am not really old, BUT how would you feel at 24 being a great aunt one and a half times? I just feel like crying, then I remember this time four years ago. I never knew what to expect, I was huge and could hardly stand up from sitting but now I have a wonderful son who will be four in 20 days! Think I should go throw up or something now I have realised just HOW fast time flies

Is this background too bright? Is it just me, or does it hurt your eyes too?

Answers on a postcard please...................

Where I can buy a pet lobster???????????

Ok so now u think I'm more mad then ever before yes? Well I was having this conversation with my friend (if u reading babes mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh love ya) about grass, cotton and lobsters.Sounds odd doesn't it? Well let me explain........

Its a nice sunny day, and my other half is cutting the grass. When I said to my bestest m8 'he's just done my bush' this prompted us using bush as sexual inuendo. Hes goin down in world shaggin the grass etc, does grass have a pulse?? So this lead me to my...... well its alive cos it dies so it could possibly scream when u stand on it. Of course she couldn't hear it scream having cotton(picked from a livin tree) in her ears. Follow me so far???

This led to the next question. Do potatoes feel you peeling them? So how about we don't peel them and just bake them?? OMG we'd be cooking them alive just like LOBSTERS

So, now I want to rescue a lobster and keep it as a pet in my bath. I think it's cruel to cook them alive u could at least bash them on the head first like. Anyway, Im going to call my lobster Cyril, anyone know where I can get one?

Chele x

'Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog’s eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.'

Now ok, I know they were supposed to be drugged up when they wrote these lyrics but, why would custard be dripping from a dead dogs eye? Have you ever met a pornographic priestess? And how can a boy be a naughty girl?? Or was he just a transsexual?

'Sitting on my own, chewing on a bone'

Another very strange lyric, do you think oasis were singing about a dog in this first line???

'All your dreams are made of strawberry lemonade'

Wouldn't strawberry lemonade be called strawberryade? Has anyone actually had strawberry lemonade?

Can anyone enlighten me with answers to these questions???

Chele x